My parents are 20 years older than me. We all have big birthdays coming this year – in June, mom will hit the big 80 followed by dad in September. I’ll be 60 a few days later. My “baby” brother is only 18 months behind me. Why do I share this?
That’s my family. When something happens to mom or dad, my brother and I are all that they have. Sure, our kids (we each have a son and daughter in their early 20s) are part of the family but not one of them lives nearby. In fact, I live a few hours away from my parents; my brother is 15 minutes away.
I am telling you this because my family situation is a common situation. My parents live in New Hampshire where I grew up, but everyone else is scattered across the country living their lives, starting families, attending college, etc. It’s not as common for someone to remain in their hometown today as much as it was a generation ago.
What happens when mom or dad need help?
Here is Dad’s plan (and fully endorsed by my mother).
- Step 1 – call my brother to stabilize the situation
- Step 2 – call me to return “home” (a place that I have not lived in decades)
- Step 3 – I return home, collaborate with my brother, and find a solution
- Step 4 – we implement the solution with my brother being the “eyes-on” the solution while I manage affairs while I work
- Step 5 – continue as long as necessary
Now, this is my father’s plan from 2000 when I moved to Connecticut. He has had an annual “Thanksgiving Talk” reiterating the plan and updating us on the location of important papers and changes over the year. We leave the holiday aware of their situation and our obligation – like it or not, that is how we will do things because it is what my parents want.
One thing that I neglected to include in this is how we will pay for things. That is exactly the point … having a plan is half of the issue. The other half is how things will be paid for.
It is our responsibility as advisors to encourage the planning then provide a funding strategy that meets our client’s needs in the most tax-efficient manner possible.
And, remember this, everyone has a plan whether they acknowledge it or not. The default plan is a plan of hope – hope that nothing happens and when it, does hope that it isn’t severe and when it is, hope that they have adequate resources available to manage things.
That doesn’t sound like a very solid strategy. Take hope out of the equation and introduce intentionality in the conversation.
At worst, with an intentional plan, everyone impacted will know what is expected of them, where resources can be found, and they know how things are to be executed.
Plan – just plan – that is the first step.
OneAmerica Financial offers a boatload of other consumer educational material that can help move planning conversations into planning action. For more information, contact my internal Kelley Hilliard directly at (844) 623-4251 or via email at kelleyhilliard.isp@oneamerica.com
Fridays with Fisher 